stories with spirit
Jan 8th
My grandmother whom suffers dementia and schizophrenia has been seeing ghosts in her housing commission flat. They are not threatening (so aren’t your run of the mill hallucinations). One is a man reading a book whom tells her “I see what I see- you see what you see.” This is very deep and makes me wonder. She sees these ghosts in the daytime which has happened in Australia to her but not in Vietnam. It is a vein of exploration for me- as you may have guessed if you have been following my creative work at all.
I have been reading a Thich Nhat Hanh book “the buddha’s heart” which explains his basic teachings. What I have come away with is a concern about my writing which can lead me into some very dark places. But I always come out again and always write with a sense of hope- not necessarily happy endings but a sense that not all is despair. Thay asks writers to write about healing and water non violent seeds rather than the stuff we are exposed to in the mass media.
I try to do this, and be mindful and kind to my dark places.
back at the bookworm
Jan 8th
I’m back in Hanoi after a refreshing hot and cool stay at home. My new abode in the room above the bookworm is fantastic, and so are Rob and Truong my hosts.
So far I’ve been eating some interesting food- hot che with ginger and dumplings which is a clear desert soup with black sesame seeds which is really nice, and taiwaness porridge of all things- with ribs and beef. I’ve also been writing , wrote two short stories and started sketching the Silence project which I’m working on officially from March this year.
I’ve also been web surfing and came across what for me is the definitive piece on writing from Ursula le Guin titled “Steering the Craft”. I have already discovered that my writing is about change and transformation and this article just confirms it. She also talks about how reductionist the conflict model is for writing stories.
http://www.ursulakleguin.com/SteeringCraft_57B.html
no ma
Dec 13th
That’s ma with a dot underneath- bad ghosts. After witnessing the len dong ceremony (details on my main blog) and talking to Kirsten Endres and her friend Andrea it seems to me that there are different purposes for the rituals in len dong to the mother goddess. Rather than spirit mediumship per se it is a chance to worship the mother goddess and share her bounty with your close friends- the ritual involves the handing out of money and offerings to the audience. Kirsten and Andrea said the shamans are not allowed to talk about ma- bad ghosts. Which may explain a lot. I also suspect that the existence of spirits may be taken as lightly and as heavily as all the different continuum of acceptances in the West. Ditto with the practice of Buddhism in this temple devoted to the mother goddess we ate meat and drank rice wine- not Buddhist practices at all!
I went to the sangha afterwards for a dose of calm and mindfulness and I’m glad I did so- it is nice to leave Vietnam having touched my true self once more with the sound of the bell.
len dong ceremony
Dec 13th
Yesterday went to a len dong ceremony that went for four hours! it is devoted to the mother goddess and the person performing (it’s really a series of rituals rather than spirit mediumship) embodies 21 different spirits from mandarins to women. It’s very elaborate and complex accompanied by music and singing, and repetitive- first a red veil over the face to symbolise the spirit entering then a costume change, often a cigarette or two, then incense bowing to the altar and then dances- with fans, swords or other equipment. Followed by handing out of offerings to the audience of money and cans of beer, fruit or whatever. I found it hypnotic, and the woman performing Bac Rose was seventy years old and remarkable. All this thanks to Kirsten Endres whom is pictured here putting together the offerings
I will be on blog hiatus for three weeks whilst I’m in Australia- so merry christmas and happy new year to you all!
having christmas in melbourne
Dec 12th
Well it’s at the halfway point of my residency and I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve achieved so far. I have collected about ten short stories to put in a collection and have started the sequel to Vixen. I have met with authors and translators and anthropologists- have been to two conferences- an author reading and dinner- and will be going to a len dong ceremony this afternoon! (spirit mediumship ritual courtesy of Kirsten Endres). Personally the biggest gain for me has been discovering the sangha for foreigners in Hanoi- it has helped me spiritually and emotionally- being here without Alister has been difficult. I have been to many temples and pagodas, and seen gorgeous scenery. When I come back I hope to meet the author of Beyond the Red Mist, live above the bookworm bookshop and make more progress on the sequel. Scribe publishing are interested in my work in Vietnam so in the new year I will send them some material. The residency has definitely been worthwhile but i’m still relieved that I’m going home for three weeks- a break from Hanoi traffic and seeing Alister is required right about now!
the lack of ghosts
Dec 11th
Went to Dinh Quan pagoda again- and this time the dharma talk was disappointing what little of it I caught railed against sex before marriage, AIDS and young people. I guess there is still a conservative streak in some Buddhist monks- just like there are conservatives in the church.
Had a chat with Nicholas and Hannah about ghosts and spirits- they have been here for 8 months and commented that people didn’t seem to talk about ghosts etc in the way that they did in Pakistan and India (they are very well travelled). Connecting to this Jon had commented to me that no one seemed to believe in fate in Hanoi from his interviews, Virginia also said that because we were in a capital city that superstition may have less of a hold here. Nicholas knew of an article by a masters student that has the same ambivalence towards ghosts beliefs held by shamans. I suspect that maybe these beliefs are in flux, partly because of the Communist suppression of these beliefs, and modernity. Thich Nhat Hanh believes that the len dong ceremonies and shamanic ceremonies are fake (I’m paraphrasing here). I suppose in the Western world even though people pray to God and the Holy Spirit it doesn’t mean they believe the holy spirit manifests everywhere or that they believe in hell etc etc. Maybe this selective belief holding is just human- or a manifestation of modernity as well. For the record I believe in ghosts. But I don’t believe in other spirits. At least not yet!!
shamans
Dec 9th
I went to a shamanic hour at an antique shop courtesy of Friends of Vietnam Heritage. We got to sit and talk for an hour or more with the shaman from the San Diu people. Funnily enough his translator told us that he was not sure if ghosts existed or not. The rituals sounded very complicated and to be a shaman you have to study at least 50 books in Chinese. The shamanic work is done out of charity- they only get paid 50-100,000 dong for a ceremony that can go for a few days. I also met Kirsten Endres by accident- a german academic whom studies the len dong ceremony to the mother goddess. I had e mailed her previously to ask her for articles on spirit mediumship. She told me that only once or twice had she felt something special happening during these ceremonies she views them as a form of worship to the mother goddess rather than an actual manifestation of spirits. This opens up a line of questioning in my writing about spirit beliefs and ceremonies- and what happens if a medium actually communicates with spirits or believes she does. Perhaps I can write about the erosion of spirit beliefs in Vietnam- and what happens to the spirits then.
touching the earth
Dec 8th
Last night did a very profound practice “Touching the Earth”. Thay suggests that you do this practice until your anger and resentment etc has been released. It consists of listening to words about your ancestors and how they are in your body and recognising them in you even if they have not been able to support you because of their own fear, hatred and anger (ie your parents, grandparents and blood family). Then thanking your spiritual ancestors (which for me include counsellors and therapists) and then the hardest part of all drawing on their strength to reach out to those whom have made you suffer and those around you suffer with love and compassion. Recognising that those who have made you suffer are full of hatred and fear. I have found this exercise very difficult- the best I could manage was that I was glad that the person whom had made me suffer most was dead. Thay has written about what the world needs is reconciliation and deep listening and compassion to draw sides of conflict together- but reflecting on how difficult it is for me to reconcile myself it will be so hard to see this happen.
I have found meditating in the sangha a very different experience to meditating on my own. Last night during sitting meditation I found that my heart and throat chakras were opening up (these concepts are from Hindu beliefs) for some reason they were closed. The energy of the sangha is so warm and giving that you need to experience it, words cannot describe it.
I also took heart from Trish Thompson our teacher, whose partner Hank has yet to appreciate the practice too- yet is going to Plum Village with her for 6 weeks. My husband has told me that if I go to Plum Village I’ll be going on my own- but he is supportive of me going to the sangha even though he himself does not practice.
Trish has spoken about how she is not only meditating for herself but also for the world. I think that in the work she does with the sangha she is contributing to the world. For me myself I think I meditate for myself first and the benefits are that I am more compassionate towards others. I would like to contribute to the world more and as I have written previously I hope that my writing contributes in some small way-especially my recent writing.
about the future
Dec 7th
I have started reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s book Calming the fearful mind- A zen response to terrorism and it’s really inspiring. I want to do more work that is compassionate and from the heart- and I want to reconcile my day job as a psychologist with Buddhism. There is only one course running in WA on Buddhist psychology that is quite expensive in Australia. I wonder if I am strong enough to compassionately listen to clients now, the last time I did clinical work it was with asylum seekers and I found myself so angry at our government every time I heard a refugee story that I was ineffective as a counsellor. I have already written a few short stories involving Buddhism that I’m happy with- you might describe them as parables. To write a longer work is a challenge, I was thinking of a story line involving a woman whom disguises herself as a man to join a sangha and then her troubled path to accepting her feminity as a source of strength (she would be a rape survivor). I could populate the story with ghosts, vampires and fox fairies (my tour de force). Hmmm. Might start writing that one now!
bazaars and mopeds
Dec 6th
I’ve been shopping lately at two bazaars, a craftlink bazaar which donates money back to ethnic minorities and a charity bazaar run by the international women’s club. I can’t tell you what I’ve bought because they are presents for people- but needless to say they are very beautiful and relatively inexpensive. I saw some Vietnamese documentaries on illiteracy in the highlands and Ha Long Bay which made me think- I don’t usually think about the children that try and sell you stuff at Ha Long there’s 200 of them between 15-24 and they are all illiterate. Very sobering.
Last night after sangha practice (meditation class) I went with Tuan, Hannah and Nicholas to a restaurant serving traditional Vietnamese food. It was cheap- but not exactly to my taste. Scary experience riding the back of the moped when Hannah and Tuan carried on a conversation across two different mopeds- but I guess you have to trust sometime!
I felt refreshed after practice- I hadn’t done it for a week and it really showed. More on that at the interbeing in Vietnam blog.
