Very excited- Silence got a starting grant from melbourne city council! Silence is the project where I, Ai Diem Le and Mong Diep will interview Vietnamese women and tell their stories on stage to unlock the silence around their lives. We interviewed
Ai Diem’s grandmother last night and she had such an amazing story to tell- but I’m not going to document it here- you’re going to have to see the show next September to find out!
And the madness project is growing legs slowly- we’ve decided to concentrate on Vietnamese experiences and transgenerational trauma. A small show possibly with the help of the Buoyancy Foundation.

I read with horror yesterday that Druscilla Mojewska views in her jaundiced way that creative writing students have nothing to say. As a creative writing student myself I protest! I think that it’s very important to have these courses because it helps students learn how to say things, and gain the support and commitment to their writing that they might require. The stories we tell ourselves and the broader public is very important- it tells us of whom we are or could be in some ways and can reflect society at large. As Carmen Lawrence says and I paraphrase badly- one of the roles of literature is to challenge the status quo and push the envelope. I’m sick of people bashing these courses- they are beneficial. If they complain that it produces work that is bland and too similiar, well I don’t hear people complaining about Tim Winton and MJ Hyland’s work in this way- both graduates of these creative courses.
I think there is a piece in this- but I have to put my thinking cap on and not just have a rant at stupid generalisations…

Have received more inspiration to spin “yolk” out to a full length novel or piece- Scribe publishing contacted me because of it and may be interested in my next project! All the more reason to get your work out there! The lecture at Wollongong went well even though there were only 17 students they had all read the book and engaged with its content with interesting questions.

My creativity has been kickstarted with a weekend away with my postgraduate poetry group at Phillip Island. It’s so nice to be around like minded souls- where we go to the beach and each take our notebooks and write. I’m looking forward to Vietnam now after some trepedation- I want to immerse myself in somewhere else- I know that my writings about vietnam can be very evocative.

I’ve also decided to step down as president of AVYM. I have too much on my plate and I want to prioritise my writing and Phd.

This morning I did a recording with the girls from the Voicebox- an all girl Vietnamese radio program broadcast in English on 3CR on Tuesdays from 6:30-7pm. Our guests were from the Vietnamese Student Association and they talked about the fall of Saigon April 30 anniversary and how they went up to Canberra for a conference and protest. We discussed the political process in Vietnam and how repressive the regime was. I found it really interesting that these young people were so in the know about it and concerned about it even though they have their lives here. I have been writing a lecture about “Vixen” and have mentioned that it tries to be politically neutral portraying all human governments in Vietnam as repressive or corrupt. But I think nowadays it is impossible to be apolitical- my next novel has a protaganist who is anti Communist. My mother has warned me that when Im in Vietnam to not discuss politics. Chi Vu told me she was quizzed by the ministry about what the Viet Kieu were like in Australia. And how they viewed Vietnam. I think that we cant point fingers- Australia keeps people in detention without trial and treats indigenous people abonimably. But it will be interesting I guess.

It’s been really encouraging to receive so many nice comments on my blog! So far I’ve found the internet world a much more accepting one than the real world unfortunately…
I did a reading at the HEAT launch at Sticky recently which included a piece which was about being in a psychiatric clinic and what goes on in your mind when you’re unwell. I was asked by a few people whether the “i” in the story was me and I was upfront and said yes it was- three years ago. Ivor Indyk asked me whether it was an essay or fiction and at the time I said fiction- still hiding. But now I’m applying for the Peter Blazey fellowship in life writing with that piece as the submission so I suppose I’m gradually coming out.
The connection between madness and creativity is something that has been written about ad nauseum so here is my two cents- you are very lucky if you can be creative when you’re unwell. I had incredible hallucinations (if you want to know more buy Heat Issue 11 and look up my piece in it) but I was unable to write anything new and coherent for about 3 months after the psychotic break was over. In fact my creativity was still born for a while and needed considerable massaging- which can be put down to either my illness (negative symptoms include emotional flatness and withdrawal) or the medication I was getting used to (sedating). The experience of madness is so bizarre that it would be strange if creative people didn’t use it in their work.
But as my shrink would say- it’s not good to romanticise it- it’s bloody terrifying when it’s happening.
I’ve been reading Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore which has been really helpful in terms of my creativity and what I do next. Before my illness I wanted to write in a way that captured light, and all the wonder and good in the world. Since my illness my ability to perceive that has varied somewhat. Thomas Moore writes very elegantly about depression and how we need the dark nights in order to experience the light- and that our society only encourages thinking about light not dark. He describes luminality as the twilight in between. I now want to capture the space between worlds- the in between ness of madness and recovery, the worlds between the living and the dead- ghosts and spirits abound in my work as well. And I am okay about that!